Why am I me, and not someone else?

It sounds like some sort of existential, drug-induced question, but it’s something I find myself asking a lot.  Why am I me?  Why is this consciousness inside me only looking through one point of view?  Why is it mine?

I long, sometimes, for some sort of fearful, all-revealing vision that would surpass myself.  A kind of God-consciousness.  Maybe that’s why I’m so fascinated by the ideas of Nirvana and reincarnation and enlightenment.

I don’t long for eternal life, but I long for God-consciousness.  To see and know everything, even if just as a spirit.  To be many different people.  A kind of mental eternity.

My body, I don’t care about.  This one life, I could do without.  But there’s so much mentally, soulfully, to explore.  I want to experience many different lives, many different kinds of existences, to surpass the boundaries of my body and see everything at once.

I long for God-consciousness, even if, perhaps, that is a mistake.

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