So I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m trying the same bipolar medications from a different pharmacy, the one near my parents’ house – and I’m feeling SO much better.
See, before, I was fairly stable, but it always felt like I was struggling to stave off depression, anxiety, and paranoia. Like it was just on the edge, ready to jump on me at any moment. I didn’t feel it, usually, but it was always almost there.
A few days in, now it’s like it’s all gone. I’m calm, in control, at peace, not paranoid at all – it’s like I’m myself again. It’s beautiful.
I don’t know if it’s environmental – I’m on summer break and my family is closer to me than they used to be – or if it’s that the end of college is in sight and I see future opportunity in front of me, or if it’s the meds, or some combination thereof. But I want to continue feeling like this in the future.
So I’m going to change as little as possible. I’m going to stick close to my family, and get my meds at my parents’ local pharmacy instead of mine, and keep a cool head when it comes to my goals, self confidence, and future. The new pharmacy is not too far away, and I’ll be seeing my parents a lot anyway.
I got a plan. I’m not going to let this bipolar disorder get the best of me.
What I’ve got to do is let go of all bad thoughts, but keep a hold on my decisiveness in the awesomeness of my future that being mentally ill provided me.