I’m sort of obsessed with Jessie J’s “Do It Like A Dude” right now, and I actually think I understand the psychological reason why.

See, most teenage girls live in this magical imaginary delusional world where women don’t have wet dreams, get hard, or masturbate.  I have literally read books specifically written about female puberty and never heard any of it mentioned once.

This is a problem, because teenage girls are teenagers, and I think most of them do figure out intuitively how to do all these things.

I did, and I remember feeling like some sort of perverted freak for many years because I had sexual dreams about people and masturbated.  It took lots of outside research on things about women’s reproductive systems THAT I NEVER LEARNED IN SCHOOL OR FROM BOOKS for me to realize I was not in any way weird.  (This outside research is also what taught me how to take care of my reproductive organs, something society similarly never teaches women how to do outside of “this is what periods are” – and that’s more of a selfish thing.  If women were bleeding everywhere, it would cause a mess.)  It was a whole shift in worldview for me, because in my world, for a long time, having sex dreams and masturbating was something only guys did.  For guys, it’s joked about and even applauded.  For girls, it’s like this taboo subject.

Goddamn, society.  Make up your mind, will ya?  Is it okay or isn’t it?

This all makes zero sense to me, because a woman’s vagina is made from exactly the same tissue that a man’s penis is.  This sounds simple once it’s explained to you, but in my experience most people have never consciously realized this.  Men ARE neurologically more connected to their penises than women are to their vaginas…

But that’s the only difference.  Physically, when it comes to the reproductive organs, most teenage girls experience almost the exact same things teenage boys do.  I remember moments of uncomfortable arousal, wet dreams, masturbation, all of it – no one ever talks about this.  And I think it leaves most teenage girls feeling self conscious.  (Like we don’t already have enough problems, with society telling us how our tits and butts should look.)

This continues when we’re adult women.  Studies have shown that women are actually MORE likely to be aroused by various types of porn than men are.  Men usually have a specific thing; women are more likely to get off on everything.  They’re more sexually fluid.

So as crass as the song sounds, I guess I have a sort of connection to “Do It Like A Dude.”  Because it took me years to come to terms with the fact that in most ways, that is exactly what women do.

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